The prime minister will represent the views of Brexiters and Remainers with the help of delightful furry friends Breccy the Bear and Remmy the Raccoon.
A Downing Street spokesman said: “They won’t speak. Instead they’ll squeak, and Theresa will interpret it.
“So Breccy will say ‘Squeak! Squeak squeak SQUEAK!’ and she’ll say ‘What’s that, Breccy? You believe we should leave the EU without a deal and fall back on WTO rules?’.
“‘Silly Breccy! That’s not what the people voted for! And yes, we will be honouring the referendum result, Remmy! No we won’t have a second vote, you out-of-touch elite, you!’.