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Absolute wanker has thing about pronouncing foreign words correctly

November 14, 2017 11:39 AM
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A PRETENTIOUS knob insists on pronouncing foreign words correctly, it has emerged.

Julian Cook insists on being phonetically correct at all times, especially with commonplace foreign words that all normal people just say in an English way.

Cook said: “I’ve spent all day at ‘I-kay-uhh’ buying some reasonably priced ‘Scandinah-vian’ furniture, and now I think I’ve earned a glass of ‘Mo-et’ or a bottle of ‘Kronenbouuuurge’.

“In fact, I think I’ll enjoy it on my chaise longue while eating a fillet of beef.

“Just testing, obvious you pronounce it ‘feel-eh’. You need to do a special thing with your tongue to get the ‘eh’ sound.”

English people agreed in 1932 that ‘café’ was the limit for pronouncing foreign words correctly, but Cooke continues to flagrantly and knowingly breach conversational etiquette.

Cook’s sister Sandra said: “The only thing worse than hearing Julian roll his r’s in La Tasca is the look on the Domino’s driver’s face when he thanks him for the pepperoni pizza.

“I called him a wanker, but apparently that’s actually a French word that you pronounce ’van-queer’.”


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